So is relationship sex really any better? Ask anyone this question and you’re bound to get a different answer based on their own personal experiences. The guy who has never had a serious relationship will probably answer a resounding “no” simply because it’s an experience beyond his understanding.
The same goes for the high school sweethearts who have been married for 40 years and had never been with anyone else.
While the two cases above are extreme examples, they showcase that one’s own personal experiences and bias can influence how you might feel about casual sex vs. relationship sex in a committed monogamous relationship.
For many singles, the draw of casual sex is great. What’s not to love about friends with benefits situation? Both people are able to fulfill a need for a physical release without the normal pomp and circumstance of a traditional relationship.
Many people who are proponents of a casual relationship relish in the fact that both parties are willing participants in the activity. There are some real benefits to having just a casual relationship instead of something much more serious.
When the only expectation is a mutually satisfying sexual relationship, both parties, in theory, will get exactly what they want out of the encounter.
Many men love the casual encounters because many of the excuses they tend to hear as to why their significant other isn’t interested in sex are no longer a factor.
If she has a headache or is on her period, then the two of you just don’t meet up that night. You don’t have to remember birthdays, anniversaries (real or manufactured) and there’s not much need to go out and spend money on anything but sex toys and condoms.
Let’s face it, there’s something uber sexy and dangerous about meeting an alluring woman, taking her home and having a wild night of sex. Another great option is the steady girl who just wants to come over periodically for a Netflix and chill type of night.
Seems like the perfect arrangement, right? Maybe not as perfect as the ladies might lead us to believe. In a New York Times article from 2013, they reported on a survey conducted amongst college aged women with regard to orgasms and casual sex.
In the survey, only 40% of women reported having regular orgasms from their casual encounters compared to 80% of men. We debate the 80% however, it just seems a little low. We’d guess that a solid 98% of men achieve orgasms during sex. We understand there’s a few outliers in the world who have their own issues.
In contrast to the low numbers from casual encounters, about 2/3rds of those same women reported achieving orgasms while in a committed relationship.
So, based on that study, for many women it’s much easier to achieve an orgasm and find a sexual satisfaction from a long-term relationship and having relationship sex vs. casual sex.
When presented with the results of the study, it’s only normal to ask the question of why relationship sex is seemingly more satisfying for women.
We all know that women are much more complex beings when it comes to sex, so those numbers shouldn’t come as too much of a shock to our male audience out there. It’s no secret that many women prefer there to be a more emotional / mental connection for them to have good sex.
What is it about relationship sex that can be better for many people, especially women? There are a few different factors when determining why sex might be better in a long term relationship.
There’s a certain level of trust in a committed relationship that isn’t necessarily there in a more casual encounter. When women trust their partner, they are more likely to immerse themselves in that person, mentally, spiritually and sexually. Two people who trust one another enough to be in a committed relationship will become closer in all aspects, so it’s just natural that the sex will get better.
3. More Likely to Orgasm
We know that we already covered this above, but it’s worth repeating. The end result of any sexual encounter should be that both people leave that encounter satisfied. You don’t want to be the guy who couldn’t make your lady orgasm.
Women are emotional, feeling individuals. So, it only makes sense that they would feel safer and allow themselves to let go and truly enjoy the encounter with someone they care about more than they would with the hot guy they met that night.
2. Feelings are Good
In a casual relationship, both parties are trying to keep the feelings to a minimum. What this essentially does is close them off to a deeper connection. With that deeper connection comes a much stronger connection during sex.
Sex is all about intimacy and connecting with another person.
Sure, you can have a great and rewarding physical connection with another person, but if you add that emotional component, you’re both more likely to let go of your inhibitions which is a great catalyst for amazing relationship sex.
1. You Know Each Other
When you’re in a committed relationship and know you have met that special someone, the two of you start to know everything about the other person. What they like and dislike. What turns them on. Where their erogenous zones are and how to best utilize all those secret spots.
When you are first with someone, it takes time to get to know what they truly like in the bedroom. That’s just something that takes time. Sure, you can find a sexually adventurous woman who will tell you everything she likes done, but it’s still going to take you some time to learn how her body and yours best connect to make that happen.
Sex is great and we’re not trying to say that you can’t have a great casual relationship where both people get what they want. However, we know that finding the one who makes you happy in all aspects of life is something that everyone should experience at least once.
You owe it to yourself to find out firsthand how great relationship sex can be.