Hopefully, you’re at a point in your life where you’re not so overrun by cynicism that you still believe that there are some quality women out there for you. Let’s face it, being a cynical asshat is ok if you’re some tight pantalooned hipster who wouldn’t know a crescent wrench from a ratchet.
Leave the attitude at the door and embrace the fact that this is one of the best times to be a man. The traditional gender roles have blended a bit and it’s now ok for men to be sensitive and for women to like video games.
Now you might be influenced by the astronomically high divorce rate in our country or the fact that there are hordes of celebrities and friends alike for whom the single life is the only life.
The one for you might not be a perfect 10, but when you match up with someone perfect for you, she’ll quickly become a 15.
However, there is something wonderful about finding a woman who wants to share your life. Monogamy isn’t as bad as your single friends might want you to think. Finding the right woman can be a lesson in frustration.
So, what should you look for between the moment when you swipe right and the day you find yourself down on one knee in some seemingly surreal moment straight out of your new girlfriend’s favorite rom com?
Let me put this straight to you. First off, don’t settle. Just because you meet an attractive woman who likes to play with your naughty bits, doesn’t mean that she’s the one. The one for you might not be a perfect 10, but when you match up with someone perfect for you, she’ll quickly become a 15.
1. You Don’t Pretend to Be Someone You’re Not
The perfect woman (and friend for that matter) likes you for who you are. Now I know this seems like a middle school cliched piece of advice for blossoming teens trying to find and hang on to their fragile self esteem.
This is the truth. She doesn’t want to change fundamentally who you are. We’ve all had friends who hook up with a person who wants to change them. Not just superficially, but at the core of their personality.
I’m a big goof. I like to make inappropriate jokes and change the lyrics of songs to inappropriate, mostly pornographic themes. I sing them loud and proud. Any woman I’m with for the long haul would have to find that juvenile aspect of my personality endearing.
2. She is Your Best Friend
When something good or bad happens in your life and you need to reach out to someone, she would be the first person you would call. When you’ve had a crappy day at work, she is the person who can make you smile and keeps you happy; and, you do the same for her.
The perfect test for this is if the two of you can do nothing and have a great time doing so. Do you enjoy the down time together? Yeah, I know there’s nothing quite like a Netflix and chill evening, but what if it’s only Netflix? Is it still just as enjoyable if you both are binge watching the Walking Dead fully clothed? If so, she’s a keeper.
3. You Share More Than Hobbies
It’s great to be able to find a woman who is as addicted to her gaming system as you are. Spending hours taking bong hits and decimating a common enemy is a great way to find a connection with the right girl, but there’s more to life than just hobbies.
You want to find the girl who also shares your total view on life. Sharing hobbies is great but sharing a philosophy on life is much more meaningful. Maybe you both have similar strong political views or maybe family is very important to you. If you have these things in common, your bond with this person will go far beyond anything superficial.
Now, don’t mistake me here and think you have to have every single nuance of your lives in common. Remember, she’s still a woman and odd are she’s going to like some more “girl” centric things that you might not.
You might still find yourself being the guy sitting uncomfortably outside the dressing room with purse in hand in the women’s section of the local department store. Odds are, she’s not as into your Dude Perfect Youtube videos as you are.
4. She’s Independent
She doesn’t need you. I know this might seem counterintuitive but it’s the truth. You want a woman who has her own life. Why? Your relationship will actually be stronger if you both have things in your life that you can do independently.
That way she doesn’t need you in her life but wants you in it. It’s a subtle difference but it is a huge one. Want a night out with the boys, odds are she has already planned one with the girls as well. There’s nothing more toxic than a codependent relationship.
5. The Sex is Incredible
Your intimate time together is nothing short of amazing. Whether it’s a quickie in the shower in the morning or a marathon all-nighter, the time the two of you spend together naked is rewarding.
If the two of you have a sexual chemistry that is born from more than just physical attraction (i.e. all of the above qualities are already there), you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of great sex, which, all relationship experts agree, is one of the cornerstones of a healthy relationship.
So, get out there and find your goofy, video game playing, Star Wars loving, bj giving, chess playing, six-language speaking woman of your dreams. She’s out there.