A Guy’s Guide to Online Dating22 Dec 2017, Posted by Relationships in
So, you’ve recently found yourself single again. You’ve binge watched old romantic comedies, drank yourself into a stupor and came out on the other side with a renewed energy for the single life. You’re ready to throw yourself back into the scene but maybe you’ve been out of practice for a bit and are unaware of your dating options in 2016.
Since we are currently immersed in the digital age, it only makes sense that people turn to the internet to search for potential partners. It’s convenient, easy and there are a wealth of women out there searching for Mr. Right. Right? That’s what the proprietors of such websites want you to believe. It’s as easy as signing up, paying your $29.95 a month (for the pay sites) and you’ll be swimming in ladies.
There’s the old saying that if something is too good to be true then it probably is. I’m going to pass on to you my personal experiences in the online dating world. It was not as easy as the crusty, white haired “doctor” might have you believe.
DON’T GET ME WRONG, THERE ARE PLENTY OF AVAILABLE WOMEN OUT THERE TO MEET BUT IT’S GOING TO TAKE A LITTLE WORK ON YOUR PART AS THE MAN.
Here’s the real truth: there are more men than women on the online dating sites. So, what does that mean except that you might find yourself at a virtual reality sausage party? It means that you will be in direct competition with hundreds of other men. We’ve all been at that party that was supposed to be filled, wall to wall, with morally questionable women only to find a small handful of women, with morals fully intact, being fawned over by every guy in a 10 foot radius.
That anecdote, in essence, is the reality of online dating. I don’t want to discourage you, I have had plenty of success dating online, I just want you to know the reality. I have a few pieces of information I learned from my time dating online that I want to impart to you.
The Numbers Game
Most online dating sites work the same way. You sign up, create your profile and then put in your search parameters. After that, you’re free to look at profiles and message women you are interested in possibly dating. Seems pretty simple, eh? It actually is just that simple; however, you need to be prepared for a couple things.
The Non Response
Many times you will see a woman’s profile, find her physically and mentally intriguing and put the time and effort into writing a witty opening message that shows you’re interested in more than just picture #3 on her profile of her in a skimpy bikini taking body shots off her smoking hot friend.
You poured your soul into that initial message and no woman in her right mind could possibly resist your charm. After 3 days of waiting, you realize that she did not see your message in the same light you did when crafting your masterpiece.
The Text Buddy
You’ve managed to make contact and you have begun wooing her with your witty banter and charmingly subtle innuendo. Your jokes about having an oral fixation and taking the long, slow exploration are a hit.
By this time, you’ve probably swapped numbers and have continued your casual conversations periodically throughout the coming days. Things seem to be going well. However, once you suggest that the two of you meet in person, she continually has conflicting plans and viable excuses why the two of you can’t meet.
THIS IS THE ONLINE EQUIVALENT OF BEING PUT IN THE FRIEND-ZONE AND YOU’LL NEVER WORK YOUR WAY OUT OF BEING HER PEN PAL.
Make it very clear upon initiating a conversation with someone new that it’s your intention to meet ASAP. Use you banter to set up coffee or drinks within a few days of your initial meeting. Meeting face to face should be your goal.
Keep in mind, this is a numbers game and many of the women you contact might not even respond. Try to not get discouraged here as it can be frustrating, especially when you’ve had 9 out of 10 messages you sent out receive no response.
Online Dating for Women is Like Shopping
Have you ever been shopping with an old girlfriend? They wander from rack to rack, picking up clothes and then quickly changing their mind casting their gaze on the next item on the rack.
Online dating for women is like shopping. They have their pick of almost all the items on display and can be very picky with their choices. They might find one that they like which seems to be a good fit, only to keep searching for the next item that might fit even better.
The grass is always greener online for women. The average woman receives anywhere from 25 to 50 messages every week from potential suitors. Most men online receive an average of less than one message per week. Do the math, in two weeks online, many women have close to 100 men to choose from.
Get them Alone
What then is going to set you apart from the rest? That’s where it’s your goal to get the woman to meet in person. You have to find a way to get them to meet you for an actual date / meet and greet / impromptu whatever you want to call it.
I had a great time with the women I was able to meet in person from the online websites. I had success that led to multiple dates and some great, adult-themed good times but it also took a lot of time and effort. It’s easy for the women to let their guard down once you’ve met and there are a lot of frogs out there and guys who are all too willing to send a woman a picture of their member.
Be original, creative and willing to accept some initial rejection from the women online and you’ll find that persistence and patience is key. While it may be a little frustrating initially, you just might find some success in the online dating world. Good luck!