Online dating…Could be a scary word for some, but for most of us, the reality is that our lives are spent online nowadays. We shop online, bank online, schedule appointments, get legal and medical advice and, yes, we meet potential partners online.
We have discussed topics before such as navigating Tinder and how to handle the whole online dating experience. I know that probably one of the biggest questions on your mind is: what type of women can I meet online?
The beauty of this question (and the fact that everyone is online today) is that you’ll meet the same type of women online you might also meet in a more organic setting. There are plenty of educated, attractive and fantastic women online who are looking to make a real connection. That connection might only be for a night, or it might be forever.
Here’s where things can get a little tricky as a man immersed in the world of online dating. For every great woman out there who you can bring home to mama or brag to your buddies Monday morning about, there’s her doppelganger.
Some of these women are very easy to spot, while others have the innate ability to fly under the radar until you agree to meet face to face and are contractually obliged to spend a minimum of two hours together.
Let me relate a small anecdote to you. I recently met a woman online and her pictures seemed genuine. However, she always took her pictures from odd angles or in subpar lighting situations (more on this to come). She lured me in with a few questionable pictures and some very heated talk. Be wary of the sure thing. I know it’s cliche but there is some truth to that line of logic.
For every great woman out there who you can bring home to mama or brag to your buddies Monday morning about, there’s her doppelganger.
We agreed to meet for a late night rendezvous and, to say the least, I was fairly excited about the prospect of having sex where two people are involved instead of just one. We met in person and I immediately wondered which bridge I had just crossed that would have pock marked trolls residing nearby. I don’t remember answering any riddles wrong nor was my prized goat stolen out from under me. Nevertheless, I was somehow lured into her den where I quickly made an excuse and ran to my car.
I want you to learn from my pain. I have spent a fair amount of time in the online dating world and it would behoove of you to heed my advice. I’ve met some great women online and had some fantastic adventures (forum worthy for some). I’ve also ran across a few women you should try to avoid if at all possible.
The Portrait Artist
Women are notorious for thinking every picture of them is “hideous.” If you’ve spent any time around them, you know that I’m not lying. So, for a woman to post a picture of herself that she knows is going to be seen by many people, you know it’s a good quality image.
Angles, filters, lighting, this woman knows all the tricks of the trade to make herself look amazing. Guaranteed it’s a picture from a high angle and there’s probably a decent amount of skin revealed. This can be misleading and you might not even recognize her if / when the two of you meet in person.
The solution is simple. Do whatever you can to get a picture from a straight on angle that show’s at least ¾ of her body.
Granny is exactly what you might think. Some call them cougars but we all know people (men and women) who don’t want to admit their age. I’m sorry ladies, but 29 year old women don’t have wrinkles and laugh lines unless they’ve been living in a tweakers paradise.
I have no issue with a woman in her 40’s who openly admits that she prefers to date men in their 20’s. Their being honest. It’s the 40 something woman who is obviously not 29 as her profile might claim. Apply this same logic to 39 and 49 year old women as well.
The Pen Pal
There’s really not much of a risk with this woman because you’ll actually never meet in person. This is an attractive woman who just wants to text back and forth endlessly. You’ll suggest meeting up and she might even agree, but something will eventually come up and your plans will be eternally cancelled.
Best bet is to cut this one loose early. No, you’re not the guy to bring her around, sorry for the reality check. She wants validation from as many men as humanly possible, but, unlike the women with looser morals, she has no desire for actual human contact.
The Selfie Queen
A close relative of the Portrait Artist, this woman floods her online profile with nothing but head shots. She probably has an attractive face but will not post anything other than that type of picture. She most likely lists her physical appearance as “curvy” and talks about how all she wants is a man who’s real.
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against a girl with curves or a few pounds here and there. I’m not exactly a perfect 10 myself. It’s really the principle of the matter. I understand trying to put yourself in the best light, but not to the point of dishonesty.
If you’re big, don’t hide it, I’m sure there’s someone out there who loves it. Be careful on this one, you might think you’re getting a shapely girl and the shape you might actually get is a circle.
Be extra cautious with this one because, unlike the others, this is a woman who just might kill you in your sleep. This girl is cute, funny and boy is she into you. That first date is magical and you can’t wait for date #2.
Here’s where it goes south. She will text you constantly and want to know everything you’re doing. If you don’t text her back within 2.8 seconds, she will supply you with a barrage of texts asking why you didn’t reply and if you’re mad at her. For your own safety, cut this one loose early.
There you have it gentlemen (and ladies of course). While this is primarily tongue in cheek, much of this is based on actual experience. Online dating can be great just be careful the next time you venture into cyberspace looking for love.